when my blood stops, someone else's will not.

i am about to post lots of things in one blogpost.

***

today i cried in the car listening to this Frightened Rabbit song loud and twice. please tell me if i am a blathering fool for feeling so strongly about this song.



i want to promote this album because i think it is one of the best albums i have ever heard, but it is very emotional and has a lot of sad, poppy guitar sounds in it and i am aware that many of my 'readers' don't like that sort of thing because they are smarter than i am. ****this album is not for you**** if it is for you, you can buy it here.

***

i think that a number of things are happening/have happened in my life recently that make me like this song. one of them includes lying in Jacob Loose Park in Kansas City with a new friend who is very funny and fun and likes animals a lot. when we did that, we heard some 8 year old kids say these things:

• "homemade poop bread. you want the recipe? it's in my mind." (this said sort of maniacally)
• (said with stick in hand while traversing a stone wall): "this is nature, and it's beautiful and shiny and chocolatey and fountainy, especially."
• "those ducks are on a date"
• "i like eating bread. it's yummy and healthy and yummy and healthy and healthy and yummy."

also, that person is moving to Chicago on Sunday and i think i will be a little sad.

***

i just typed this in an email to Jesse:

"I think it is ok to let people pass through your life. They are good people. I think it is getting harder to 'remain' with people because young smart people are maybe more aware of the meaninglessness of the Modern Life -- aware of mortality or something, general ineffectualness of living. "

am i drab for writing that? does it make me a pessimist? i did not write this intending to be profound, but i think that happened. just kidding!

***

i am also missing a lot of people and excited about a lot of people right now and i don't know what that means about life but i think it means something. probably something about how i value people.

here are people i am missing a lot right now: my grandma, John Brown, Jesse, Cush, Erick, John Muther, Jesus, Mike Hauser, Guthrie Smith Newman, Karl.

here are people that i am excited about: Chloé, Becca, Kari, Charley, Johnny, Anne, Wake, Alicia, Marie Larson, Jack, Gabe, and Alex.

if i left you off these lists don't be mad. it is dumb to try to make lists of people you love on a blog because blogs cannot express love and my brain is bad. i try to blog everything sometimes and that doesn't work.

***

Gabe's blog is kicking ass right now. i want to make a chapbook of blogposts that i really like, and i want to include more than one of Gabe's posts now. i like this one and this one especially.

Gabe wants to throw bricks. i told him to find a guy 'where he sleeps' and give him a mushroom tatt. that's where you slap your penis really hard on someone's forehead and it leaves a mark that looks like a mushroom and you take a picture of it and put it everywhere on line. 'everywhere'.

***

the chapbook by Chuck Stebelton that i a making with Marie Larson is coming along. Kari will help me figure out Adobe InDesign finally. that is good. it will be a good chapbook, i think, because i had very little to do with it.

here's an 'ad' for the chapbook:



Anne Boyer and Alex Savage and i will all work together soon on a chapbook by Anne, too that will hopefully be done at the same time Chuck's is done and then Anne and Chuck can read together for a chapbook release event where people will do one or more of the following: get drunk, love each other, get nude, do gymnastic-type things, form cliques, eat chips, compliment the readers on their readings, do blow off the toilet seat of the 8th Street Taproom, read the chapbooks out loud on street corners for spare change.

***

i always run out of blogging steam. i have now run out of blogging steam.