Tuesday, September 16, 2008

"Man About Town" 'Preview'

Dear Jennifer L. Knox,

When I asked you to have sex with me in the liquor store I meant steal that sign at the register that says PENS which you did so I got off. Was it good for you? I knew what you meant and I did it.

That sign still says PENS in my room make room for me in your liquor store I got a PENS for you. Your chicken bucket, disease discuss, sad napkin sounds good to me. Hey, Anne B. gots a thing for pee and squirrels, I gots a real thick stink worked up, and we we we just got a bag each of booze, a PENS sign, a clue. Ok I get it –

You’re dating someone not me, you snore, but hey, one last whippet?

Out!

Robert J. Baumann

8 comments:

Brohacks.com said...

There's an episode of South Park where the gang tries to get a photo of Britney Spears peeing on Butters while he's wearing a squirrel costume. So apparently you're not the only one who gots a thing for pee and squirrels.

Anonymous said...

Dear Robert J. Baumann

If she won't, I'd love to do one last whippet with you. It's not too late. To whippet good.

Signed,

Devo

annie h. said...

permission to bone the above anonymous, please

Robert J. said...

I want that to be Mark Mothersbaugh in my comment box. Please get me a cameo in the next Wes Anderson film.

people say we look alike said...

yo baumann Annie H isn't Anne Heche, is it? Because I'd totally be down to bone her if i wasn't gay for you. Although, if it is anne heche, she can probably help me be not gay for you anymore through the power of christ. And if that doesn't work, we can always try the power of christ man, who can make me not gay for you using his 5 gallon bucket filled with VHS porn tapes. Although, if history is destined to repeat itself, you'd probably seduce her right out from under me when i'm about to close the deal.

Robert J. said...

Mothafuckin' LAC in the hizzie! Call me, man!

actually, i wish you would have slowly left subtle clues as to who you were -- i like the screen name for the last comment, but by "christ man" i had narrowed it down to you and Rob Jach. are you a hobo yet?

Robert J. said...

also, who were you about to "close the deal" with? Ruth?

Brohacks.com said...

No it was that one librarian! (Her name escapes me at the moment.) The closest I ever got to Ruth was at Gants when she almost agreed to a three-way with us if we made out first. I think she backed out when she realized we'd totally do it. I still fantasize about her all the time ... and that three-way, lol.

I've given up on my cyberbum idea for now, although we all might become cyberbums once the rest of the world realizes our currency is worthless.

i'll give you a call you one of these days. does your # still start with a 4 and end with a 6?

I love your mustache site too, officer. You should keep that one going; put that dicksweeper of yours on barbra streisand and jamie lee curtis next.