i don't do anything interesting because i do not have a "liberated intellect."
i write bad poems because i do not have a "fine mind."
i am not going blind because i do not have syphilis.
my sister is not an Aryan organizer or anti-semite but she does teach in the suburbs at a Catholic school.
i have a moustache, but some people have a bigger, robuster moustache.
"robustache" i just said out loud to myself.
there is nobody in the room with me.
there is nobody in my apartment with me.
it's not as funny as the first time i said it.
when i first said "robustache" it was probably not the first time somebody said "robustache" in the history of the world, which means i am "lying according to fixed conventions of language."
someone who has a liberated intellect is using my sickly scaffolding to do great things like fall in a ditch over and over.
i try to be more than i am.
when i eat vegan food i mostly eat the cookies.
then i eat wendy's. their bacon makes me mad. it is sickly bacon.
i use wendy's as reward for eating salads because i long for the stability of stale and easy metaphors. value menu metaphors.
when i put agave nectar and almond milk on my grapenuts instead of bleached sugar and cow milk, does this count as fucking the "ghostly schemata and land of abstractions"?
i feel healthy when i drink a lot of water and pee a lot.
it is fun to pee a lot. it feels good.
i feel better than other people when i drink kombucha and stupider and less talented than other people when i drink coca-cola.
someone said something about jeff koons and i said all art is pejorative.
then i drank kombucha in their face.
i wanted someone to high five me then.
friedrich nietzsche needed to high five me from beyond the grave when i said that.
who am i kidding.
friedrich nietzsche would hate me and insanely try to jam his syphilis cock into my eye socket.
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7 comments:
Come stay in Milwaukee this summer. I'll high five you all day long. I'm substantially cooler and less syphillis-ridden than Nietszche, and my name is fare easier to spell
This, this is amazing shit right here.
curtis, please don't make fun of me. i am a fragile chickbaby with a tiny brain and a swollen ego. didn't you read my blog title?
Since I scored as Nietszche on the quiz does it count if I high five you? A good ubermench high five? I will not stick my syphillis cock in your eye.
When you come to Milwaukee I can give you a kombucha mother if you don't already have one. Then you can drink kombucha in peoples' faces all of the time.
I AGREE AND THIS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE I AGREE AND STUFF
that was a shout
I actually rather miss your fine mind.
I smiled reading this.
Thanks Rob.
robo-stache
is red and
syrupy
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