Sunday, March 02, 2008

On Existential Fuckedness.

i don't do anything interesting because i do not have a "liberated intellect."

i write bad poems because i do not have a "fine mind."

i am not going blind because i do not have syphilis.

my sister is not an Aryan organizer or anti-semite but she does teach in the suburbs at a Catholic school.

i have a moustache, but some people have a bigger, robuster moustache.

"robustache" i just said out loud to myself.

there is nobody in the room with me.

there is nobody in my apartment with me.

it's not as funny as the first time i said it.

when i first said "robustache" it was probably not the first time somebody said "robustache" in the history of the world, which means i am "lying according to fixed conventions of language."

someone who has a liberated intellect is using my sickly scaffolding to do great things like fall in a ditch over and over.

i try to be more than i am.

when i eat vegan food i mostly eat the cookies.

then i eat wendy's. their bacon makes me mad. it is sickly bacon.

i use wendy's as reward for eating salads because i long for the stability of stale and easy metaphors. value menu metaphors.

when i put agave nectar and almond milk on my grapenuts instead of bleached sugar and cow milk, does this count as fucking the "ghostly schemata and land of abstractions"?

i feel healthy when i drink a lot of water and pee a lot.

it is fun to pee a lot. it feels good.

i feel better than other people when i drink kombucha and stupider and less talented than other people when i drink coca-cola.

someone said something about jeff koons and i said all art is pejorative.

then i drank kombucha in their face.

i wanted someone to high five me then.

friedrich nietzsche needed to high five me from beyond the grave when i said that.

who am i kidding.

friedrich nietzsche would hate me and insanely try to jam his syphilis cock into my eye socket.


matthew christman said...

Come stay in Milwaukee this summer. I'll high five you all day long. I'm substantially cooler and less syphillis-ridden than Nietszche, and my name is fare easier to spell

chuibreg said...

This, this is amazing shit right here.

Robert J. said...

curtis, please don't make fun of me. i am a fragile chickbaby with a tiny brain and a swollen ego. didn't you read my blog title?

Jenny said...

Since I scored as Nietszche on the quiz does it count if I high five you? A good ubermench high five? I will not stick my syphillis cock in your eye.

When you come to Milwaukee I can give you a kombucha mother if you don't already have one. Then you can drink kombucha in peoples' faces all of the time.

victoria said...


that was a shout

Ruth said...

I actually rather miss your fine mind.

I smiled reading this.

Thanks Rob.

JimK said...

is red and