Monday, September 24, 2007

On the Enjoyment of Said, v.2.0

It seems like in today's society one is very conscious of the high expectations of the readers of Pork Chop Sandwiches Blog. One must not only identify what "said" is, but also tell how to enjoy it.

Dictionary.com defines said as the past tense of the verb, "to say" (www.dictionary.com). Which leads one to believe that if one is to enjoy "said," one probably should figure out how to enjoy "to say" in the past, or rather, first off, even. Enjoying to say is not hard to do. First, find someone, preferably someone you like such as a family member, friend, or a TV show, and have them say something. Then, enjoy it.

But what about enjoyment. Now, according to Wikipedia, "enjoyment" is "akin to gluttony" (www.wikipedia.com). In light of this, you might have to eat a lot while the aforementioned person or favorite TV show is talking. You might even have to eat the person but if you have chosen a TV show good luck because you might get electrocuted. 0.0001% of all U.S. deaths in 1997 came from people trying to eat TV shows so watch out (www.electrocutionrelateddeathsbytype.com). You might even have to eat a lot of people if you have chosen people. While they are talking or after they are done talking.

Then you want to take it to the next level. After you have eaten, you want to enjoy that, too. A quick Google search of "eaten people enjoy" returns several hits on cannibalism and pooping -- including scatting fetish -- that shed some light on this subject. Congratulations! You are now a cannibal and should be just about ready to enjoy your first cannibal poop. You may want to find someone to eat your shit to really enjoy said. Some experts insist on it. For example, poop2mouth.blogspot.com's PoopJim82 argues, "Shitting in someone's mouth is way better than wasting it on a toilet, especially cuz [sic] you can recycle it, if you know what I mean ;-D" (www.poop2mouth.blogspot.com). He means back and forth forever.

In conclusion, at the beginning of this project, I would have never known that the enjoyment of said involved so much in the ways of eating humans and their excrement. But now I am practically a full-on expert. By explaining what said is and just how to enjoy it to the max, I hope you now consider yourself an expert on fully enjoying said as well.

1 comment:

and the beat goes on said...

"they eat shit, but we like them"