This XXX-Mas, Give a New Name to the Cocks You Love

Some suggestions:

Jim Duggan
Callix Crabbe
Herbert Walker
Steven Tyler
Paulie Shore
Gordon Shumway
Arthur Flegenheimer
Leonard Schneider
Foghorn Legporn
Marion Morrison
Terry Gene Bollea
something Greek
Bronson Pinchot
Henry Pissinger
General James Longstreet
Hitler
King Dong
Blood-Swelled Flesh Tube
Alarm Cock
The Living Douche
The Burning Spear
Judge Ito
The Sexicutioner
Cuisinart
Quivel
Bo
The Organic Tampon
The Old Pastry Bag
Dongasaurus Rex
Barry Goldwater
Deep Purple
El Chorizo Rojo
El Maricón
Immanuel Kant
Foucault
The Categorical Imperative
Nihilistic Determinism
Joe Splinter
Dick Cheney
The Dyke Buster
Egon
Venkman
Winston Zedmore
Gozer the Gozarian
Viggo the Carpathian
Slimer
The Large and Moving Torg
Mr. Coffee
Douche Cougar
Henry (for retards only)
Clybourne Kilbourn
Michael Bay
Udder of Love
Sally Pepsi

and last but not least . . .


PENIS H. CHRIST